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7. They offer a much better ROI than Ukrainian girls. In Ukraine you have the tough Eastern mentality, transactional female natures, rectum cities, and language barriers. In Croatia you have a pleasant capital city with English speakers and girls who are easier to get into bed. It’s a no-brainer to pick Croatia over Ukraine, though the verdict is still out on who makes a better girlfriend. Beware: the word is out on Croatian girls and you will have to deal with other love tourist competition in the next five years.
8. My game in Croatia automatically turned cocky because of the amount of attitude I encountered. The attitude wasn’t automatic, but it happened enough where I had to turn on the parts of my game that I haven’t used since America, especially when it came to getting cockblocked or bitched out by a fat friend. As long as you stay out of the snobbiest venues in the city, you shouldn’t have too many problems with this.
9. Isolation away from friends is key. Once you master isolation, you master banging Croatian girls. The move that helped me isolate and led to the most bangs was “Let’s go for a walk.” You must resist all her attempts to de-isolate in the form of bringing girlfriends along. If you’re going for a fast bang, there is no benefit to trying to wow her social circle.
10. The older women (approaching 30) put out many spinster characteristics that are similar to their American counterparts. Their attitude is rougher, they play a lot of games, and they constantly test you. At an age where they should have a softer vibe in the hopes of competing against their younger counterparts, they can be a pain in the ass to deal with. I preferred to work in the 19-23 year old range.
11. Hot women over 24 are looking for rich dudes, even sponsors. You’ll be able to smell them a mile away: impeccably dressed and done-up with the highest heels but wearing a constant bitch face. They don’t care if the guy is in the mafia or in the board room as long as he’s a big fish. As Western culture infects Croatia and destroys the nuclear family, I predict you’ll have a lot of attractive older women waiting for a wealthy man to marry them. Ten years down the line, this may set up an excess supply issue that facilitates Croatian mail-order bride businesses.
12. Ignore reports on the internet that Croatian sea resorts during the summer are a great place to bang local girls. I found this to be hype. The sea resorts are huge sausage fests (both foreign and domestic sausage) and the girls know their value. It’s not uncommon for them to be surrounded by gangs of friends. While you can still do it, it’s far easier to bang a girl you meet in Zagreb in the middle of summer using day game than to compete with a bunch of horny, drunk guys on the seaside.
In spite of the many downsides you’ve just read, the average men will appreciate the talent in Croatia more than my diminishing favorite, Poland. My experience in Croatia did take away the glow I had on Polish girls because the quality I banged in Croatia was indisputably higher. The only question is if the party will continue as more love tourists head to Zagreb.
City Guide: Ljubljana, Slovenia.
Ljubljana in a word: Funktastic.
Chance of Hooking up: 3.5 / 5.
Quality of Girls: 3.75 / 5.
Smoking tolerance: 4 / 5.
Bed: Private rooms at Hostel Celica are $40. Apartments from €65 (
Food: $10 for a meal in an inexpensive restaurant.
Funktastic. Yes. My English is clearly shit, because I couldn’t come up with a better word that aptly describes this small, but dynamic capital. On one hand, Ljubljana has a quaint medieval town feel. It has a castle on the hill, a nice square, and is snaked by a little river with ornate bridges and weeping willows on its banks. But take a five-minute walk and you’re in Metelkova: a wacky hippie commune that looks like it came right out of a cyberpunk novel. Overall, it’s a relatively chilled city, but definitely worth hanging out in for a few days.
Former Miss Slovenia.
Appearance : Slovenians are attractive. The five of us on the trip came to a consensus: they beat the Croats, but they’re still not a patch on the Serbs. According to recent data, Slovenian women are also the tallest in the Balkans, with an average female height of 1.674 m (5 ft 6 in). Slovenes are the most northern Slavic groups in the Balkans and thus have a little Austria-Hungarian and Italian influence in their blood. Most women are brunettes, however, you see more natural blondes here than in other parts of the Balkans. In terms of dress, I also couldn’t help but notice a little more skin on show here compared to Zagreb.
Demographics: 83% of the population are ethnic Slovenes. The rest mostly come from former Yugoslavia; the biggest groups are Bosnians, Serbs, and Croats.
Attitudes: Slovenians are generally a friendly bunch and I found the women to be pretty receptive to approaching. English was common and they lack some of the bitchy attitude you can find elsewhere in the Balkans. Slovenia was the first Balkan country to join the EU and the city feels more West than East. In fact, the locals will tell for that Slovenia is a Western country. I found Slovenian girls relatively laid back, and I hasten to say, they might be the easiest girls in the Balkans.

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